I used to think that therapy was a tool used to correct an issue; like taking an antibiotic for a sinus infection. After going and growing through life, I came to the realization that therapy was also about preservation and maintenance; like taking a multivitamin to assist with good health. I have always been an advocate of laying on the proverbial brown leather couch and saying “It all started when I was 5..,” but there was never a sense of urgency to address my mental health. And then COVID happened. After 39years on earth, 14weeks of quarantine(at the time), and countless hours of being alone with my thoughts, I decided it was time to see a therapist.
I had no reservations about the process. I was excited to talk to someone who could help me sort through my feelings and emotions and unpack the bags from the trips of my past. Someone who would listen to my every word with genuine interest and no judgement seemed like a no brainer! I knew quite a few people who had attempted therapy, or were actively seeing a therapist, and they offered one piece of advice: find someone you trust, respect, and like. I had been planning for this moment for most of my adult life, so it was nothing to add compatibility to my list of “must haves” for my future counselor, which also included being African American, female, and having the patience of Job!
Therapy (for me) isn’t a replacement for prayer and my relationship with God. Therapy (for me) doesn’t mean I don’t need to still vent, complain, and seek advice from my family and friends. Therapy (for me) is about exploring how my experiences impact what I think, how I respond, who I am, and who I have yet to become. Therapy (for me) is about breaking the generational curses that are known, and those that have yet to be discovered. I look forward to seeing my therapist every other week, but spirit work is some of the hardest work to do! There have been a few times after our sessions when all I could do was order door dash, get in the bed, and shake my head. But that’s what happens when you start sifting through the stuff. Am I fixed? No. But that’s because I was never broken. Am I transformed? I’m getting there. Little by little I’m working things out so that I can be the best version of me. I’m not expecting any miracles but slight improvements are welcome.
I’m not here to persuade you to go to therapy, but I want you to know that therapy is for everybody who is open to embrace it. “Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” has many meanings, but I view it as one of the most profound quotes regarding the figurative weight that we bear as people. There are so many things that we deal with in life, and a simple removal or perhaps an adjustment of our crowns could mean a world of difference. Mental health is real, it’s important, and contrary to popular belief, it’s a more than acceptable topic of conversation.
If you haven’t done so today, ask yourself, “Sis, How’s Your Crown?”
And if your response is anything less than satisfactory, it’s time to make a plan to start working towards mental health and wellbeing.
“Sometimes, you gotta just take your hands off the situation and leave it in much more qualified hands…” – Unknown.