[00:04:03] Okay. So let’s jump into the episodes, another one of our solo episodes. So it was just me and you and we’re, and it’s not going to be long.
[00:04:11] I wasn’t sure how I wanted to start the new year off. And then I was just thinking and reading and thinking some more and just thought about it. The most important relationship that we’ll ever have is with ourselves. So this year, I beg you to intentionally make time for yourself and fall in love with yourself.
[00:04:40] It’s important that if we’re going to be whatever version of successful, whatever that looks like to us, that we need to be laser focus on developing a profound relationship with ourselves. And that means examining the parts of us that we have yet to fully discover. So, you know, like [00:05:00] when you first enter a new relationship and you spend all of your free time with that person, you want to know all of their opinions on things that’s happening in the world, or even your life, or just in their world.. You want to know their likes and their dislikes, their hopes, their fears, their dreams,-you know, all the things that make them tick.
[00:05:21] That’s what I want for you; to rediscover the things that make you tick, rediscover the things that you may have buried or suppressed along the way.. Because somewhere along the way, we stopped nourishing relationships with ourselves and placed greater importance on external relationships. Yes, community is so important.
[00:05:42] We are social creatures, right? But the greatest and most impactful and long lasting, relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. And this is the relationship that truly counts. You know, as women, especially Black women, we’re taught to link our worth to what we [00:06:00] produce or even worse- how much should we endure and overcome?
[00:06:04] And what happens is whether you realize it or not- all of the hiccups and the roadblocks and the failures, that we encounter on our journey..They chip away at our self-esteem and our self-worth so little by little replace time with ourselves with, different tasks , additional responsibilities, less than meaningful relationships and other distractions.
[00:06:33] So this year I’m begging you to be so intentional. About falling in love with yourself. I’m going to say it again. The relationship with you is the one that matters the most.
[00:06:47] So you’re like, okay. And that’s fine. I hear you. But how ?
[00:06:51] So,I’m glad you asked. So the first thing you want to do is you’re going to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a loved one.
[00:06:59] I [00:07:00] am guilty of having a negative internal voice. I would never speak to my worst enemy the way I speak to myself sometimes. So I’ve been really intentional about making sure that when I do speak unkindly to myself, that I counter that with- first of all, a question, the question is, is that true? Where’s the evidence to support that?
[00:07:24] And usually I don’t have the evidence to support that. Um, and then I try to remind myself that I would never talk to my child like that or to my best friend like that or to my spouse or anybody that I care about like that. So why talk to myself like that?
[00:07:39] The next thing is I want you to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you.
[00:07:47] The third one is to learn to spend time with yourself in meaningful ways. So that could be spending time in prayer and meditation, going on, walks or hikes if you’re daring, [00:08:00] um, taking long drives alone, spending time, listening to music, your favorite podcasts, which I hope is this one, or just in silence with your thoughts.
[00:08:11] Take yourself on dates. If you live in an area without door, dining options -cause it is January)-um, do it alone, go eat alone. And the first time it might feel a little bit scary, but I promise you that nobody’s even thinking about you. Like they’re doing them. So do you. It’s a really rewarding experience just being by yourself, ordering what you like ,spending time just perusing the menu,
[00:08:35] people watching it’s really managed or whatever else that you love to do, do it alone .
[00:08:44] And the last thing I would say is if there is something that you don’t love about yourself, right? Um, for me, I’ll tell you my eating habits. I’m not. Proud of how I eat and what I eat. First of all, I’m a [00:09:00] stress eater. So whenever I am overwhelmed or sad or whatever it is, any negative emotion I’m going to eat. I’m not going to eat a feul of myself- to fuel my body;
[00:09:11] I’m just going to eat just for comfort. And I don’t make the best decisions. I don’t eat like wholesome foods. I like the fried, the greasy or the better. So- I don’t love that about myself. So what I’m going to do is I’m going to change that and I’m going to do so in a loving way, not begrudingly.
[00:09:31] So instead of saying, ‘Oh shoot, I have to diet. And I’m going to deprive myself of all the things that I love. And I’m going to be really strict on myself and like punish myself for what I’ve done’. No, no, no, no. I’m going to do so lovingly.
[00:09:46] So, my new way of framing things is ‘because I love myself. I’m going to eat better’.
[00:09:53] I’m going to make decisions that will positively impact my health and wellness. So instead of [00:10:00] having, I don’t know, just something that is nutritionally bankrupt, essentially. I’m going to make sure that I fill my days with mostly nutritionally dense foods, because I love me not to punish me. If that makes any sense.
[00:10:17] So why is this so important? Because, once you take the time to fall in love with yourself, truly, truly fall in love with yourself. You’ll eventually learn to give yourself what you need instead of waiting for others to do so. You’ll be able to embrace both your strengths and your weaknesses.
[00:10:43] You learned to be gentle with yourself when you make a mistake or when you fail, which is inevitable because you’re human, you’ll be comfortable doing things alone. You’ll know that you are enough.You’ll have the confidence to go after whatever it is that [00:11:00] you really want. And you’ll know that even when nobody else is in your corner, you are. And again, that is enough.
[00:11:10] So that is all I have for you today. I hope again, that you’re having an amazing day and as you have a beautiful new year. Please, , follow me on Instagram at bewellsis underscore podcast.
[00:11:25] I’m going to ask you every single time to leave me a rating and a review on whatever platform you listen on, and if you have some show ideas or would like to nominate somebody to be on the show, please shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
[00:11:45] So thank you so much for joining us. I’m so glad that you’re here. Be well, Sis.
Listen to the episode here .