[00:00:00] Hello. Hello. And welcome back to the podcast. I am your host, Cassandre Dunbar. I hope you guys are well. Yeah, y’all we are in December! We are in the final stretch of this year and it’s wild. I can’t even- it’s unfathomable that this year, like went by. It was the fastest /slowest year for me. I don’t know, like in a way, my mind is still stuck in March.
Anyway. I hope you guys are doing good. So today is a solo episode. It’s just going to be me and you. And that’s all the episodes are usually pretty quick. So today I want to talk about plans for the coming year. But I believe if we’re going to plan anything, we have to look back and review where we’ve come from.
So let me say this, before we even go any further, I just want to tell you that I’m super proud of you. [00:01:00] And I know that sounds corny , but yeah, I’m real proud of you. I realized that I say, I tell my kids that I’m proud of them a lot. And I think a lot of adults just tell their kids that they’re proud of their kids or the younger people in their lives, but we don’t tell each other enough that we’re proud of or each other.
And I think that’s important even though we’re not kids anymore- we’re still human. And we still require some level of reassurance that we’re doing okay. And that we’re doing this thing. And that’s an air quotes because who knows. But I’m super proud of you because this year has been a mess and you survived it, and I know that this year has been really difficult for the majority of us in some way, shape or form. Like we’ve had to overcome some stuff just because we’ve lived through, [00:02:00] as they keep saying, unprecedented times. So you’ve survived, unfathomable circumstances -an entire pandemic, and really that’s on top of the usual.
So you have your professional life, stuff that may have come up, your personal life stuff that came up, probably things that happened in your family, or as a parent, you’ve just had stuff that comes up with life on top of living in a pandemic and you’ve survived it. You may have been dealt devastating blows, and you may have experienced incredible highs as well as the lows and you’ve survived!
And this year has been a lot. And no matter what your experience, I just want to keep telling you that I’m so proud of you. And I’ve said it several times now, but I really mean it! And I just want you to know if nobody’s told you that they’re proud of you. I’m legit proud of you. Life is hard. There is no [00:03:00] manual or manuscript on how to do this thing and you’re doing it.
And sometimes you may even feel like you are doing it and that you probably may feel like you’re just all over the damn place. And you don’t know if you’re coming or going. But everyday that you get up and get out of bed and he put one foot in front of the other, and you may go to a job that you hate, or you may not have the energy to truly parent or to deal with your partner or to deal with your parents or your family or your friends.
And you do it. I’m proud of you for doing all that you can with whatever you have. So that’s my little rant there. I’m proud of you.
So let’s move on to what we are going to do. I want you to make a list of 10 things that you’ve accomplished this year. And when I say [00:04:00] make a list, I want you to actually take pen to paper.
Part of human nature is to dwell on, or even magnify the negative experiences or our own shortcomings. And for that to be the narrative for that time period. So while 2020 has been shitty. I’m confident there were some positives.
So I want you to write down the 10 things that you’ve accomplished this year, that you’re proud of yourself for this year; something that you set your mind to do that, and you did it. It could be something incredible and really big, or it can be small. And the small things are the things that also matter. They add up to the big things. i
t could be that you started therapy.
It could be that you’ve made amends with somebody in your life.
It could be that you’ve established boundaries with somebody or with something in life.
it could be that you made that move by taking a leap and try something new, try something different. [00:05:00] Maybe with us socially distancing and being inside; you started a new hobby or you discovered a new passion.
So I like I said, I want you to write down 10 things that you’ve done, that you are proud of yourself for. And then when you complete that list, I want you to examine if there were things that you could have expanded on that you could have done a little bit better, or that you want to explore more. Just assess your list.
So now that the new year is almost upon us, the pandemic has shown us that there are some things that are largely out of our control. However, there are some things that we actually can control too.
One of the tenants of this platform is self care. I will always preach self-care but so while our baths are great , that is not [00:06:00] where self-care ends. So with that said, I really want us to make a plan to make self-care truly a priority.
So the first thing I want us to think about is our physical health.
Let’s take inventory of our physical health. So I’m gonna ask you a couple of questions and you may have answers to them. You may not have answers to them and it’s okay.
But the first thing is when was the last time you had a physical and that includes like a complete CBC chem panel. And when was your last pap smear or was your last cholesterol panel? When was your last thyroid planned panel? All of those things.
So when was your last full of physical from the roota to the toota?
When was the last time you went to the dentist?
If you haven’t seen a doctor in a while, that’s fine. So you’re going to make a check or a priority or an assignments to [00:07:00] yourself.
If you have a healthcare provider. Great- make that call make that appointment. And if you don’t have a healthcare provider, it’s still okay. You’re going to start looking at recommendations for healthcare providers to get those things taken care.
Next question is: how are you caring for yourself on a regular basis? So are you regularly eating whole foods and balanced meals? If not, are you taking a multivitamin? And understand a lot of moms are really particular about how their kids eat and whether or not their child is taking like a vitamin, but he don’t do the same for themselves. That’s just a side note.
So how are you eating?
And are you taking vitamins?
I am a huge proponent of taking multivitamins for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I personally believe that our foods just aren’t what they used to be. They aren’t nutritionally dense.
[00:08:00] And too, vitamin deficiencies play a huge role in our moods. For example, vitamin D deficiency is one of the most common vitamin deficiencies in the United States, right? Especially among black and Brown populations. So vitamin D deficiency, one of the, manifestations of vitamin D deficiency is actually a depressed mood.
So in patients who have, vitamin D deficiency, and are showing, depression/ signs of depression, just correcting the deficiency dramatically, improves their mood. So that is a easy fix. Another common vitamin deficiency is iron deficiency, especially in black women. Traditionally, this deficiency goes hand in hand with [00:09:00] fibroids or other gynecological issues, which cause heavy menses.
Another less spoken about vitamin deficiency is, or mineral deficiency is magnesium deficiency. Somethings that are signs and symptoms of magnesium deficiency are going to be loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and weakness. And in extreme cases, it can cause numbness, tingly, muscle contractions, cramps. Seizures personality disorders or personality changes, excuse me, and abnormal heart rhythms, and coronary artery spasms. And these are just a few examples of the role that our diet and our nutrition has on our moods. Okay.
So I say all [00:10:00] that to say, if you aren’t taking a vitamin, please do.
And this goes back to having a physical cause. If you have a signs of symptoms of certain things, your healthcare provider will be prompted to also order additional tests to see if you are deficient in any vitamins and nutrients.
So that was number one, taking inventory of your physical health.
Let’s move on to number two. Number two is: let’s take inventory of our mental/ emotional health. This one is incredibly difficult because this year has been so challenging for most of us. We’ve all been living in this same raggedy ass pandemic and living lives that we never imagined we would.
Many of us are grieving, loved ones. In addition to collectively grieving all that’s happening in our world. Just the world in general, it’s just upside down, but I’m going to ask you to take a stock of this past year anyways. So take stock of how you’ve been feeling. [00:11:00] And these past few weeks and months, and you can honestly answer, honestly, how are you feeling?
And when I say answer, I want you to again, write in your journal.
So the first one is how are you feeling more often than not?
Do you feel restless or on edge?
Do you feel unmotivated, hopeless, or do you have excessive guilt?
Are you constantly worrying and have you with withdrawn from family or friends?
And this is aside from social distance saying have you stopped answering phone calls?
Have you stopped reaching out to people that you normally reach out to? S
o are you still maintaining your relationships?
So if you’ve answered any of these questions negatively. And you, aren’t seeing a therapist I’m going to advise you to start seeing one. Another [00:12:00] major tenant of this platform is a therapy.
I think therapy is just, it’s just life-changing and I will recommend therapy to every human being. If you have a pulse. My belief is that you need therapy. I felt that we all have so much self-discovery and learning to do. And a compatible therapist is the first step in doing so. For me personally, a lot of my angst comes from mismanaging or suppressing my emotions, and that caused me to spiral into anxiety and depression.
Working with a therapist has helped me to properly manage my emotions. To now reflexively suppress my emotions and to work through whatever feelings I’m feeling so that it doesn’t become in anything bigger later on. and I know therapy is expensive. I understand it’s not cheap at all. And unfortunately it usually isn’t covered by medical insurance, but there are companies such as better health and Talkspace that will provide professional support [00:13:00] at an additional rate.
So I will link those two companies. Okay. In the show notes for you also, if you are in employed, and your company is larger, like if you work in corporate America, your employer, most likely offers something called the. EAP or employee assistance program. Get that phone number of your EAP group from your HR and give them a call.
EAP usually, has a set number of therapy counseling sessions that you can, use for free. So find out if that service is available to use that way, that’s a start. So you may be able to get like a whole year’s worth of therapy, but several sessions would be like a good start for you to, to get on the therapy train or to get your therapy going.
Also, if your job does not have EAP, and let’s just say your friend recommended a therapist that you’d [00:14:00] like to give a try, you look at the therapist and they don’t take your insurance. What you should do is give the therapist, office a call and see if they offer a sliding scale model. So what that means is that they offer their, therapy to you at if they participate, they’ll offer therapy to you at a reduced rate based off of I believe your income.
So it makes it much more affordable. so those are some options for you, but if you aren’t seeing a therapist and you’ve been considering seeing a therapist like this is the sign to do. So I promise you finding a compatible therapist is just, life-changing you will get to know yourself so much better.
And I believe it is just the foundation of self care. Okay. So that was number two.
Number three is I want you to assess your community and by community and not talking [00:15:00] about like the physical, get out, talking about your neighborhood. I’m talking about like your people, your squad. yeah. This one’s been tricky again because of social distancing and the majority of the year we’ve spent away from each other.
But think about who you’re in contact with them also, who do you speak to the most on face time? The most zoom the most, think of those five people that are closest to you. And I want you to think about, and then write out, how each person has shown up for you this year. Okay. So it could be one thing. It could be two things, whatever, but just write out how they have shown up for you.
And because relationships are two-sided, consider how you showed up for them this year, too. And because we’re, forward-thinking- how will you strengthen those relationships in the coming year? So let’s put a plan together.
I’ll tell my business. So one thing that I shall go with when I’m going through my stuff is I run away. I [00:16:00] said this before, I run away meeting. I just go at my, I just don’t answer phone calls and say, I absolutely have to. I’m just not social. So, one thing that I am currently actively working on is being more present for my people, even though I may be going through something. Yeah, so I will show up for my people and showed them my relationships by being more present.
One thing that I’m going to do is I’m going to put phone reminders like every week or every two weeks to call so-and-so and just to check in, see how they’re doing, because I realized that as much as I have been going through my stuff everywhere, as in going through some stuff and we could all use some support.
Okay. So the three things that we are doing for our assessment, as a recap, we are- taking inventory of our physical health with taking inventory of our mental and emotional health. And then we are taking inventory / assessing our community. Bonus [00:17:00] question is overall, how have you shown up for yourself this year?
And in what way will you impress yourself in the next few months?
All these things are for you to write down and you don’t have to sit down and do it all at once. But I think it’s a great exercise in writing things out and journaling.
That is all I have for you today. If you found this episode helpful in the slightest bit, take a screenshot while listening and add it to your, as you stories and tag at be well SIS underscore podcast, to share with your friends.
And speaking of Instagram, I’d love for you to DM me show ideas. As much as I love doing this, I want to make sure that I’m providing content that is resonating with you and that you find useful. So if you have any show ideas, people that you want me to interview or things want me to talk about, please reach out, I answer every [00:18:00] DM.
So again, on Instagram, I am @bewellsis_podcast. You can always send me an email at hello at thebewellsis.com . And you already know the drill. I say the same thing every week- that, but please subscribe to the show , and if you have not, please leave a five-star rating and review.
Thank you so much for joining. I’m so glad you’re here. Have a good one. Be well, SIS.